Porter's Laws of Modeling
(this list was borrowed from VLS Distributing)
Every modeling desk has black hole underneath.
The chances that the part on which you are working will plunge into this hole are directly proportionate to the amount of time spent working on it.
The closer the color match of any given part and the floor, the greater the probability of dropping the part.
Excursions into the black hole will result in (a) bonking your head on the desk, or (b) crunching the part with your knee.
The CRAZED PLASTIC ADDENDUM:
Tube glue strings only in the presence of clear parts.
Paint causes seams to crack.
Modelers will continue to test super glue on clear parts.
The AIRBRUSH AXIOM:
The odds that your airbrush will spit a big glob of paint onto your model are inversely proportional to the amount of time spent on the model.
The difficulty of a custom paint mix is directly related to the discovery of one unpainted part on your workbench after you've cleaned the airbrush.
The more perfect your application, the greater the chance that your CO2 tank will run dry before you're done.
Your family will never adjust to the smell of lacquer thinner sprayed through an airbrush. Never.
Think big. Start small...
No matter how hard you stare at a kit, it will not build itself.
Smashing your model against the wall is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
STRONACH'S PRINCIPLE OF KIT ACQUISITION:
Taking the shrink-wrap off of someone else's kit is like taking the clothes off of someone else's wife.
Hobby knife scars on your thumb are a given.
The Spatial Conundrum:
Even if your modeling area is the size of a ping-pong table, 99% of your work will be done in the 4 square inches on the center front edge.
The odds of dipping your paintbrush in super glue are inversely proportional to the cost of the brush.
Immediately after (1.) occurs, you will realize you dont have a spare.
(1.) and (2.) combined will only occur when you are in the midst of the finest painting youve ever done.
Never drink from a glass that resembles your thinner container.
The amount of money saved on a cheap brush will soon be accounted for on a painted model.
You know exactly how long it takes a base coat to dry, but you will proceed with the wash and screw it up anyway just to be sure.
No matter how well you seal your bottles, you will never see the bottom of a paint container. Unless you spill it. Usually in your lap.
As soon as you finish guessing your way through a scratch built project, a book will be published showing everything you didnt do.
Practicing your airbrushing and motor-tooling on old models is great practice, and brings a wondrous sense of satisfaction. This satisfaction should be relished, because as soon as the method is applied to the real model, it will be destroyed.
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